Monday, October 10, 2011

Title? I Don't Need No Stinkin' Title!

I can't believe it's been over a month since I last updated this blog. I've wanted to. I have! As usual, I've been keeping busy. If my laptop were still in working order, I'm sure I'd have updated earlier than this. Sitting at the desktop often feels like torture for me. I miss the portability.

Quick run-down...

CCD started, and I have a smaller class of first communicants this year. The first grade class is HUGE though, so I'll be kept on my toes next year. I wonder if I can petition to have the class divided then. It's so much easier with a smaller class. I find that I'm getting way more covered during each session. I want to make a connection with each of the kids, but when the classes exceed twenty or so students, I spend more time on classroom management than I do actually teaching the faith. I have a really great bunch of kids this year, too. They're asking great questions, and are really absorbing a lot each week. Again, it makes a huge difference that there are so few of them. It's so much more manageable!

Last week was our first break from homeschooling. It was welcome, but it didn't feel like much of a break. I think we only really rested one day. Note for next break: DO NOTHING, or close to nothing. ;)

Sometime in September we went into the city, and stopped by Trinity Church where they had a display of items and photographs related to 9-11. (Thanks go to my sweet niece for taking these pictures).



Ten years later, and I still have difficulty wrapping my mind around what happened that day. I found that I had to just tear myself away from the exhibit as it was just too overwhelming for me. Ten years ago, and a few months before the planes hit, I had been worried and upset that my husband had lost his job (right across from the towers), but on that particular day, I regarded the job loss as a blessing. Seeing the images of the people lost that day, just bore a hole into my heart, and I couldn't get out of there soon enough. Again, it was so overwhelming.

The visit to Trinity Church was followed with a pleasant, and welcome romp through Chinatown. We had a few items to purchase to satiate our Kung Fu addiction. My purchases consisted of Chinese liniments. Not terribly exciting, I know. But we did manage to pick up a rubber knife for kali practice. And there were a few other purchases, such as Jay Chou posters for my teen, and a pair of sneakers for me (a gift from my husband, who no doubt was tired of being kicked by my old sneakers. The old ones had a broken zipper on them, and made them extra dangerous. He gets kicked when we practice of course, so it's allowed).

After Chinatown we went to the Whitney Museum with my niece to check out the Cory Arcangel exhibit. I didn't really "get it," but I seldom understand what is regarded as modern art. It was more like a pop culture exhibit, and I did appreciate it in that sense. It seemed a rather loose interpretation of the word "Art." But what do I know? In any case, Arcangel (cool name, though) is a digital artist. But his pieces are quite unlike anything I've ever seen before. It's kind of difficult for me to describe, but one piece was made up of a regular television playing back-to-back related clips from Seinfeld. Another piece had a chronological array of bowling video game clips--the first showing a very rudimentary, highly pixelated early version, and at the end came a more detailed, better resolution, more modern clip of a bowling video game. These were all projected onto a huge wall. There were two benches situated before the wall, and seeing as we walked at least a gazillion blocks that day, it was oddly relaxing to just sit there and gaze at the series of clips which played on a continuous loop, with the echoing of electronic noise.

Let's see...what else?

Oh, yeah, school. It's been great! Yes, still! I think a lot of this is due to using the right materials. I'll have to write another blogpost listing our new curriculum picks, which reminds me--I have to update the items listed as our "current" resources here as well. The big winners so far this year? Campbell's "Exploring Life" for Biology, and Larsen's "The Art of Argument." I've also got to add the Teaching Company's DVD lectures on the Iliad and the Odyssey. Dr. Vandiver is very knowledgeable, and I find that her insight greatly enhances our enjoyment of these great epics. Good stuff!

As for other stuff...

My girls were so excited when they heard that their favorite k-pop acts were playing a free show near us. We didn't realize we'd need tickets though, but thankfully we managed to pick some up on the last day of distribution. There was a two-day Korean festival, in part, celebrating Korea's 20 years as being part of the UN.


Saturday we spent a large chunk of the day there, just wandering around, and visiting all of the booths.


Yesterday was the concert, and it was a LONG day.

One daughter was lucky and got to see her favorite of the bandmates.


My other daughter wasn't so lucky, as her favorite had a schedule conflict and couldn't make it.


It was uncharacteristically hot for this time in October, and it was oh-so-crowded, too. I thought I was going to pass out when I got stuck in the middle of a crowd. But the girls had a great time, so I couldn't be happier. They were able to see B2ST, SHINee, 2PM, 4Minute, TVXQ, SISTAR, and several other soloists. Even the Village People were there. They have sure gotten a lot of mileage out of their act! We all had a great time, even though the start of the day was kind of crazy.

I just have to add that I'm so proud of myself though, because I really have learned to control my breathing, and keep myself from getting anxious. On a hot day like yesterday, that couldn't have been more useful. This morning however, I've been coughing up bits of blood. I'm thinking that it's due to yesterday's over-exertion, particularly as I don't appear to have any other symptoms other than some chest tightness. I had been meaning to update earlier that after the antibiotic regimen, I have been much, much better. But I honestly don't think that's all there is to it. I have been high-dosing Vitamin C, and am taking a daily multi-vitamin, as well as vitamins A, B, and E separately. The result is that I haven't gotten as much as a sore throat in the past few months. That's a new record for me! I've been more energetic, too, and it feels so good.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

School, a New-Used Vehicle, and Other Stuff

Again, I've gone and neglected this blog. For my loyal reader (yeah, singular--you know who you are! lol), I am sorry.

It's our third day back at school and already it's been like a roller coaster. The kids seem content enough to be back at it full time, but I'm still getting over the end-of-summer blues. Things were so relaxed and stress free for a while there, and then, BAM! Because of this, we all decided to take a few weeks off of the kung fu. And then the hurricane interfered with our plan to finally attend class the week before last, and of course, last weekend was a long holiday. So we've been out even longer than we had anticipated. It's been nice to be off. But the longer we delay, the harder it will be to return.

And then CCD starts up again this coming Sunday, and for some reason, I'm irrationally stressed about that as well. This will be my fifth year teaching CCD. This year, like the last, I'll be teaching the 2nd graders preparing for first penance and Holy Eucharist. We're using a new curriculum again this year, so that's another program I have to adjust to. I've thumbed through the text, but I've yet to really sit and read through a series of lessons to get a feel for it. I think I'm most worried about getting it all done. We use large school editions of the texts, rather than the smaller, "intended-for-once-a-week" manuals, and I suspect that this is because many teachers are able to get through the shorter books at a clip, leaving these teachers with nothing to cover for the last few weeks of the year, whereas I tend to stray from the text all of the time. I never feel that the text explains things well enough to foster a deeper understanding of the Faith. I know I can teach the material with just the shorter volumes, and expound on topics as necessary. But frequent straying from the larger text isn't really feasible long term, as I'd just get further and further behind. It's expected that we get through an entire chapter per week, and we only have about a one hour session (not counting time spent in choir practice). Add into this the time spent just on classroom management, it just seems like a tall order for me, especially with classes that sometimes exceed 20 students. I will have a teacher's aide this year, so I'll have some help on that front, thank God!

But yeah, about school...

I'm trying something a bit different this year. I'm starting off with the younger two. So far, this appears to have been a good idea. They're highly distractible, so getting them done nice and early has been a positive change. Rather than having everyone rotate times spent with me, it's just a nice long block with the younger two first, and then one-on-one time (mostly troubleshooting problem areas) with my teen. She spends most of her morning working independently...viewing her math lesson on the computer, taking notes from her textbooks, working on her language copybook (mostly her Latin paradigms per the Dowling Method), and reading her literature selections. We're still trying to work out little things like meeting deadlines, and learning to more efficiently schedule time spent working independently. This is a big challenge for her. It's almost like she sees her morning as this long, endless stretch of time, and doesn't realize the need to schedule her time appropriately in order to accommodate everything. I've suggested time limits for certain tasks, but she hasn't seemed to take to them just yet. I'm -->thisclose<-- to just handing her a wind-up timer to see if that would help. I suppose it would. We'll see. I don't think my expectations are irrational, and neither does she, so at least we're on the same page on that note.

Let's see...what else?

Oh, my husband's friend at work just gave us his mini-van. It seems his sister recently bought a new car, and passed her old one along to him, so we luckily became the happy recipients of his old mini-van! It's lovely, too! And we couldn't be more grateful, particularly as the Banshee, i.e., our little eyesore of a vehicle, has seen better days. We're just relieved to have a vehicle large enough to accommodate us all, with enough room to spare so that we are able to take my Mom out when she's up for taking a spin. The kids are over-the-moon excited over it, as it's all one even color (LOL!) and it has a CD player. That's like cutting edge for them. Sad, but true. Our older vehicles only had tape decks (this blog is called "Ye Olde School" for a reason after all), neither of which worked. And the radio in the Banshee was temperamental, too, and would only go on for my husband. I'm just delighted that our coming and going won't be obnoxiously heralded by loud screeching anymore. That got old really quick. The kids found it amusing some of the time, but most of the time, I'm sure it embarrassed them. My repeated assertions to them that routinely dealing with such annoyances would only build character, started to fall on deaf ears. They were definitely ready to move on, and I can't blame them. I was too.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Latinists and Hellenists, Rejoice!

I just made a last minute purchase from The Teaching Company (The Great Courses), and I was emailed a link to course starter materials as a follow-up to my order. I was thrilled to see there was a link to the Perseus Digital Library.

I have seen similar sites, but this one is outstanding, and I just had to share.

Feeling oh so grateful for the Internet right about now.

Enjoy!

Date Denial

I can't believe it's already the end of August. Seriously? What? Unreal.

This entire summer has been a blur. I think it will forever go down in the annals of summer history as the summer Mother Nature went all mental on us. Between the hotter-than-hot heat waves, an earthquake that rattled us (read: "me") in more ways than one, and Hurricane Irene, I'm fairly confident that I'm about done. And yet I'm concurrently wishing a milder, less eventful version of it would continue. Indefinately. There were no vacations or day trips. My husband didn't have summer hours this year, something to which we always looked forward, providing him with every other Friday off. But hold it... Lest it be thought that I've been moping around, lamenting the lack of these things, the truth is that the summer flew by so quickly, that I barely noticed what we hadn't gotten around to doing i.e., until I wrote it out just now.

So what have we been doing? Um... Well, there's been some kung fu. We haven't been in as often as we would have liked, particularly due to my husband's "anti-summer" schedule. We attempted several outings on foot, all ending a few minutes later with the kids swooning from the heat, begging to re-enter the air conditioning. Lightweights, they are. And we've spent lots of time doing low-key stuff like watching videos, playing Scrabble and chess, and puttering around, from room to room, discovering stuff.

Acknowledging that it's already the end of summer however, really provides the incentive to just plan something "summery," and my husband must be feeling the same way now, as he's announced he'll be taking a few days off this week. We're so excited about that. We still don't know what we'll be doing, but it may or may not include a trip into Chinatown. The kids have been clamoring to return since Chinese New Year, and I admit that I've been looking forward to that as well. Of course, while they're looking forward to just sight-seeing and visiting some of the video stores (Asian films are a hot commodity at our house), I'm looking forward to buying some Chinese herbal stuff—tinctures and liniments. Boy, do I feel old! But when you are prone to eyesores like this:


And this:


…the desire to purchase liniments claiming to heal bruises faster becomes a matter of vanity, and a sincere desire to keep people from thinking my husband’s a batterer. He’s not. It’s all due to the kung fu, of course. Oh, and the pictures don’t even do these justice. No pain, no gain, right?

Off to have a cup of tea, and work on some more planning for school. That will be another post.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

What I Learned from my Dad

Lots of big feelings for the past few weeks, guys!

For starters, I had been beyond worried about a friend of mine. She has PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), and has been having constant health issues related to that. But then doctors found an especially large cyst that seemed out of the ordinary--a complex cyst. My worry settings are always set to autopilot, so I was all flustered, while she was the epitome of grace over the whole situation. Thankfully, her doctors ran some tests and don't believe that it's cancerous, because it's not "behaving like cancer." What a relief!

Then a dear friend lost her Dad to cancer. I'm a wreck whenever it comes to stuff like that, particularly because I'm flooded with memories of my own Dad's illness and death from cirrhosis way back in 1989. I was 16 at the time, so I'm fuzzy on many of the details, but I still remember his last moments as if they had just come to pass. So my Dad has been on my mind heavily for the past week. I can't believe it's been over twenty years since he's been gone.

Unlike my friend's Dad, my Dad didn't have a well-defined faith or spiritual home. He never went to church, and only showed interest in God when he was a few years into his illness. Towards the very end of his life, I'd find him reading bits of his Bible, and he seemed comforted by what he read in it. I was too oblivious at the time to understand where the change came from, even though it was a marked change and I knew that he was ill. I still hadn't realized, even after half a dozen or more hospitalizations, that things had gotten pretty serious with his illness. It never even occurred to me that he would die of cirrhosis. It wasn't like I had the Internet available at the time, providing ample opportunity to Google his diagnosis and worry myself to death over the possibilities. I do wish I had known how serious it all was. It would have forced me to pay more attention. I may have made it a point to focus more on the little things...conversations we had had, jokes he had told, and just quiet uneventful times spent together. Granted, I should have been doing that all along, but I was really oblivious about life at the time. I was a very selfish teen, preferring to spend time by myself or with friends, rather than with my family. My Dad didn't seem to mind, as when he was home, he spent most of his time on the couch, watching baseball. When I was younger, he hated it whenever my Mom would ask him to take me along with him to watch a live game. It was hilarious! Sometimes I think my Mom would just fling me on him unawares, so as to ruffle his feathers a bit. And he'd let me know just how annoyed he was, too, with a series of deep sighs and grunts. And yet just a few short years later, he went through a major change some time during the course of his illness. He all of a sudden seemed to want to be with me, and talk to me. But the irony is that right about the time he stopped minding having me around, I couldn't care less for staying home and bonding. It's like we just missed each other's window of opportunity.

My Dad's passing changed everything. My Dad's death, as awful as it was, helped to sort out my priorities. It forever altered my focus, and helped me put God and family first. I'd be lying if I didn't admit that guilt played a big part in this, too. I felt very guilty, and I still do. I feel guilty that I wasn't able to read his cues, and guilty that I was so detached from him. It's kind of an odd way to learn a lesson. It's not like I ever had a heart-to-heart with my Dad. But it was a lesson learned through his experience. He didn't have to tell me. He showed me through his actions and his experience, and I learned it too, albeit later than I should have. It's a lasting lesson as well, as I can't think of a single important thing I've decided, or on which I've deliberated, for or against, that wasn't done so in light of this experience. Before any big decision, I ask myself, "How will this help or hinder us as a family?" Oftentimes this means doing something with the kids, and for the kids, even when I don't want to, and trying to keep the sighs and grunts down to a minimum.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

While the Cats are Away

Enjoying a bit of alone time at the moment, and figured I may as well post something. I've been terrible at keeping up with this blog, particularly as it was my intention to update it regularly. I've come to the realization that I just have to do it. I've thought of a gazillion things I'd like to write about, but when I sit on those for too long, they sort of lose their luster. Those were postings for other days, and they're no longer calling to me, if that makes any sense.

Today my husband took the day off from work, which is always nice. But we didn't really plan on doing anything. I was content to just busy myself here at home, but he was eventually coerced into taking a trip to the local Korean market to satisfy his daughters' and their friend's appetite for some K-pop merchandise. My son tagged along as well, hoping that my husband would agree to taking him to another spot afterwards. I haven't been alone at home in like forever. It's nice.

On the agenda for the next few hours at least:

Have a quiet dinner.

Enjoy a cup of tea.

Cuddle up with a book. Preferably something not considered generally great in a literary sense, or listed on some great books list. Something not ancient or involved, not that I don't find enjoyment in those sometimes, but just not today. Just pure escapism is on the agenda tonight.

I can get used to this.

Monday, August 1, 2011

Shelf Reorganization

I spent most of yesterday sorting through our books, and reorganizing our shelves. That's easier said than done. Our kitchen book shelf has to house the most used stuff. Well, the kids' most used stuff anyway. My books had to be moved elsewhere for now.
Here is what we have on our top shelf. On the left is our new modern language for the year (Korean), followed by several Latin resources. What this shelf wasn't able to accommodate, were my Latin books (Henle, Wheelock's, and Lingua Latina), as well as our Galore Park Latin books.
I would just love to have everything kept together, but shelf space is lacking, instead of crack-a-lackin' at our house. I dream of built-in book cases. In. Every. Room.

Here we have Drew Campbell's Memory Work book. Love this resource! E has expressed interest in learning Spencerian script, so those penmanship manuals are on on this shelf as well.
We tried I.E.W. for the first time this past year, and while I feel just so-so about it, it has been a hit with E, so who am I to complain?

Next we have our Catechism books. I'm so excited about starting the Didache series with E this year! I'm still kicking myself for not having started her on them last year, but better late than never. S & F and still working their way through My Catholic Faith (gorgeous and faithful), and when we can fit it in, we're still s-l-o-w-l-y going through Memoria Press' Christian Studies guide, only we use the Douay-Rheims translation for the memory work and copywork selections.

And here are the rest of our Catholic books (at least the ones we'll be using this year), and some more of our writing resources. I'm excited to start S & F on Killgallon this year. For those of you unfamiliar with the Killgallon books, basically they teach children how to compose interesting sentences using modeling techniques. The goal is to reproduce the grammatical form, not the content, of the sentences being modeled. It's really neat! We'll take a lot of our copywork and dictation selections from it as well.
Lots of cool writing resources this year...including The Grammar of Poetry for my high schooler, and Imitation in Writing - Greek Myths for my younger two.

Next we have Science and Math.
It took forever to settle on Campbell's Exploring Life for biology this year, and while I still haven't received the student text (backordered), from what I can gather from the Teacher's Edition, it was a very good choice. Also on this shelf is Geometry: A Guided Inquiry. We'll be using the Math Without Borders CD along with it. I'm always grateful for the added help. Teacher resources are worth their weight in gold at our house. Oh, and the CD also contains all of the solutions! Score!

Hmmm...Forgot to capture the other side of the shelf. Those were all Singapore Math books, and there were a few Saxon Math books in there as well.

The bottom shelf is home to a few Art and Classical Studies books.
They're hard to see, but we've got Tanglewood Tales and A Wonder Book on here as well. Come to think of it, we've got a lot of Hawthorne on our shelves.

Some more Classical Studies titles and a few history books... E's history books are elsewhere. Again, not enough space to accommodate everything on the one shelf.

I won't even attempt to photograph all of our literature shelves. But here are a few...


And...

A few more eclectic selections...

Saturday, July 30, 2011

The Books are Here!

Our books have arrived! Well, almost all of them are here. I’m still waiting on one backordered item. But what a relief it is to be done.

I’m usually really excited whenever books arrive, but as the kids get older, I just get more anxious. More books mean more clutter, and very often, more work for me. I think the one item that’s been inducing more than a little of this anxiety is this bad boy right here…


I’m consoling myself with reminders that Korean is said to be one of the easiest Asian languages to learn. I hope that’s true! E’s enthusiasm over all things Korean has kind of spread on to her siblings, so now they’re all clamoring for it. I searched and searched, and this program seemed to have gotten the best reviews. Fingers crossed that it’s a good fit for us! While E is certainly old enough and motivated enough to wade through it on her own, I’m not so sure the younger two are, so it looks like I’m in on this one as well. Yikes!

Here are some other shots of our book booty.

We’ve got Euclid’s Elements. Under that somewhere is the Art of Argument, and some other goodies.

Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn, a book with tips on how to improve study habits…

Lots and lots of stuff. I could really use a few extra bookshelves!

Weakness Leaving the Body


Yep, that's me. That photo was actually taken several months ago, shortly after having earned our orange sashes. And now just last weekend, we all earned our blue sashes. It feels like it's all going by so quickly.

The benefits have been many. For starters, I've lost twenty pounds! I was kind of disappointed for a while there, as I seemed to plateau with the weight loss, but I know that I'm also building muscle, so I'm trying not to get too discouraged.

Some other benefits...

My breathing. I think the tai chi especially has helped with that. I feel that the deep, steady breathing has increased my lung capacity. Obviously, I can't say for certain that this is the case, only that it certainly feels as if it is.

My strength. I just generally feel stronger. You know that heaviness you feel when you're getting out of a pool? Well, I used to experience something similar to that just going up steps and getting out of bed in the morning. I can't remember the last time I've felt that.

My back. For about a year or two before starting Kung Fu, I experienced mild, intermittent lower back pain. This kind of freaked me out, because back problems seem to run in my family. Up until I started feeling the aches myself, I thought I had been spared. When I started Kung Fu, the pain just gradually dissipated. It got to the point that I had completely forgotten I had ever had it, that is until I got sick and missed an entire month of training. It's alarming how quickly one can fall out of shape. When the aches came back, I realized just how much I had improved with the Kung Fu, and it kind of renewed my resolve to stick with it.

My stamina. It hadn't occurred to me how this had changed until I spoke to someone else, who expressed disbelief over my having taken several back-to-back classes. It was a Saturday, and we had all taken a record five classes, four of which were taken in a row. We're usually at the school all day on Saturdays, so it just makes sense to take advantage of all of the available classes while there. It didn't register with me at the time however, that just one short year ago, I had trouble making it through just a third of a single class. Progress!

And last but not least, I can't articulate how fun it is to be involved in all of this with my family. Really, I never even fathomed our finding one common activity we would all enjoy this much, especially now that the kids are getting older, and that their interests and hobbies have become so varied. We always have willing practice partners, so that's just an added bonus. Because we're able to practice so much, I really feel we're all getting the most of this experience. And while our tiny apartment is over-run with sparring gear and practice weapons (five of everything!), it's been more than worth it.

Friday, July 29, 2011

“Give Me an Occupation, Miss Dashwood!” or Chasing That Sense of Purpose

I know I've written before about how unstructured days can be very productive, particularly from a homeschooling standpoint. I still believe this to be true, and it’s one of the things I really love and appreciate about home education. But I am the product of traditional schooling, and a post-school nine-to-five mentality. I still struggle with scheduling and find that too many unstructured days, at least for me, can be deleterious to my emotional health. Yes, it's true. Note that I'm speaking for myself here. I'm not attempting to make a broad statement that I find relevant for everyone. I get depressed and even moody when I have loads of open time laid out before me. But I don’t mean to suggest that over-scheduling is the answer either. It requires more of a shift in paradigm—a redefining of purpose. At times it’s almost as if I’m waiting for someone more knowledgeable than myself to come in and give me a task to fulfill. This reminds me of that line from the film adaptation of Sense and Sensibility, when Colonel Brandon implores, “Give me an occupation, Miss Dashwood, or I shall run mad.” Yeah, that’s not too far off from the truth. I sometimes think it’s a remnant side effect of having been traditionally schooled my whole life. At school, I was given an assignment, and my task was to complete it. There was nothing to puzzle out for myself there. My purpose was clear. It was to impress my teacher and please my parents. And I did it consistently all school year long, every year for fifteen years. I kept busy, then came the first day of summer vacation, and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I went from super structured days, to nothing. It became an annual withdrawal ritual. These periods were almost always followed by intensive bouts of depressive frustration.

I think that as a child, I experienced this sort of thing more often than my own children ever have. Going from periods of highly structured time to highly unstructured time was the norm for me. My parents couldn't afford summer camps, so they were unable to recreate the same level of structure and activity I'd get accustomed to every year at school. There were no activities, or family vacations (other than two vacations to Florida when I was in my teens). The beginning of every summer was met with this seasonal bout of frustration. And by the time I had gotten past the frustration, and had regained a sense of purpose, one I had come up with all on my own, without the framework of school to guide me, it was already time to return to school in the fall. Then another period of re-assimilation would ensue, also often met with the same sort of infernal depressive frustration, but in reverse. As weird as it sounds, I think that after so many years, I've been inexorably programmed to still go through these phases every year. I find myself in the same predicament at the start of every summer, and then again at the start of every fall. Weird indeed, and I've tried to explain this phenomenon year after year, and this is all I can come up with. Only now, it’s more like a phantom frustration, as there’s really no “structure” from which to detox, or re-assimilate. Our levels of structure don’t fluctuate so greatly as to warrant any of it, so it’s all especially odd. Some people get seasonal depression. I get end-of-school-year and back-to-school depressive episodes. Again, it doesn’t make sense. I’ve been out of school for eighteen years! But old habits die hard.

I have noticed that a lot of parents face this "how-to-keep-the-kids-busy" dilemma at the beginning of every summer. Camp is still an option for those who can afford it, but if not, as was the case with me, the kids will be left to their own devices, and that's not necessarily a bad thing. I think we’re just programmed to believe that we must stay super busy and super scheduled to be happy, and we've carried this over to our children. Some of us even mistake “busy-ness” with purpose. But they are not one and the same. There are studies showing that many people die shortly after reaching retirement age. Perhaps to several of these people, a job, or any such externally structured lifestyle that keeps them busy, is synonymous with purpose. Lose your job, and lose your purpose. How awful is that? I don’t want that for myself, or for my children. So what if you're bored for a little while. It's good practice to wade through these down times. Eventually, it will act as the impetus to try new things, and you may discover new interests that were drowned out by all of the noise of the busy-ness around you.

Come to think of it, I do believe it all comes down to noise. We're seduced by it. And there’s a lot of it out there. Lots of bells and whistles. And when the silence of down time hits, it makes us feel uncomfortable. We don’t know what to do with ourselves. My catechist, years ago, told me that when silence rears its ugly head, it’s God telling us to spend that time prayerfully contemplating our purpose in life. She didn’t suggest running out of the house, looking for external things to do to keep me busy. Those things are just band-aids. And while I'm sure she was speaking of purpose in a spiritual sense, I think what she said applies to many areas in life. But yes, ultimately, it is all spiritual. What keeps us engaged and happy often adds to our spiritual well-being, so I'm of the belief that if you can address your spiritual needs first, all else will follow. And the ability to sit in silence with yourself, is no easy task. There's sort of an ascetic quality to it, I find. It's easy for our minds to wander, and the chatter continues, only this time it's inside our heads. I know that my mind immediately goes into listing things I either need to do, or should do. It's seldom just open to the silence. Trappist monks observe long periods of silence, foregoing all idle chatter. They surely do speak, but all their speech is purposeful. Can you imagine that? Oh, to have that level of spiritual refinement. To be at peace in silence. Now that's something I'd welcome right about now.

Friday, July 1, 2011

Sick of It

It was pretty late last night when we got out of our Kung Fu classes, and we had just missed going to Trader Joe’s by a few minutes. We LOVE Trader Joe’s, and decided a while ago that it was to be our regular go-to spot for nearly all of our food shopping. We still head out to Whole Foods from time to time, to pick up some of their bulk grains and legumes, and the occasional bottle of kombucha, but aside from those few items, we still prefer Trader Joe’s for everything else. It’s much more reasonable, especially compared to Whole Foods. It does my heart good to read their labels and not see a laundry list of ingredients we can’t pronounce—primarily icky dyes, additives, and preservatives.

But TJ’s was closed last night, and I needed to go food shopping. I had only a few ingredients on-hand, but not everything necessary to prepare a complete meal. “Not a problem,” I thought, “we’ll just go to the regular supermarket.” Oh, but what a nightmare experience that turned out to be! Not only was there no organic produce, the regular produce was exorbitantly priced. The two aisles devoted to healthy alternatives were just awful, too. I mean, their products were just fine, but they were marked up so much, it was ridiculous. One gluten free cereal we usually purchase at TJ’s was a whole $2 more expensive there. I figured we’d try our luck elsewhere in the store. By then I had already given up on purchasing anything aside from what I had been craving all day—potato salad. Generally, I would prefer to make it myself, but with the lack of organic options available at the store, I was dangerously close to just caving and buying a little container of the premade stuff, just to tide me over. Frankly, I don’t know what I was thinking. I don’t tend to think clearly when I’m craving something as intensely as I was then. So yeah, I was dangerously close to succumbing, but only until I took one look at the ingredient label, listing items such as high fructose corn syrup and sodium benzoate. And those were only the couple I recognized and remember at this writing.

And frankly, those ingredients were bad enough, with HFCS increasing risks of obesity, diabetes, and liver damage, and the Sodium Benzoate being a potential carcinogen, causing an increase in free radicals all on its own, and a proven carcinogen when combined with ascorbic acid (Vitamin C). Considering this, it’s ridiculous that Sodium Benzoate is added as a preservative to many fruit juices, jams, and jellies—foods more apt to contain ascorbic acid, and products often marketed to children. Also on its own, Sodium Benzoate has been shown to contribute to mitochondrial damage, causing neuro-degenerative diseases—Parkinson’s is one. It’s also been implicated in ADHD.

This kind of stuff pisses me off so much. Actually, I’m holding back here. It more than pisses me off. This is the stuff that keeps me up at night. I keep thinking of children developing ADHD or any other condition, and then having some doctor diagnose them, and insist on their taking medications that can lead to other health problems. It’s such a HUGE freaking domino effect of awfulness. And we’re doing this to them. And the FDA allows it. It’s absolutely disgusting, and a social justice issue that needs addressing BIG time.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Indecision Tango

Now that freshman year is nearly past us (well, yeah, just nearly…we’re still schooling throughout the summer months…finishing up labs, and attempting to complete our Algebra text), what to do for a career, or specifically, what to major in, has become the near-constant topic of discussion with my young teen. She went from just taking all school related things lightly, and only really “worrying” over trivial things like what to wear, or how to keep her hair pin-straight, to getting incredibly serious and kind of wound up over this one issue. Her inner voice seems to be shouting, “Just make a decision already!” It doesn’t help that her younger sister and brother seem to know exactly, or somewhat exactly, what they want to do with their lives—all subject to change of course. S wants to be an artist and she seems to have always just known this. She sometimes switches her focus, from computer animation to general illustration, but it’s all about art with her. F on the other hand, just wants to be rich. He’s set on becoming some kind of business mogul and spends most of his free time accounting for every penny he owns. He regularly contemplates how he can make his money grow—not to mention, he keeps close tabs on what everyone owes him. S tops his list of debtors, owing him a whopping $26.75! But poor E has no idea. I can’t remember E ever knowing, or being sure of what she wanted to be, other than maybe a fairy princess when she was two. I guess all other options paled in comparison for her. Actually, now that I think of it, there was a time when she showed a bit of an interest in fashion design, largely due to our watching a season of Project Runway (the season in which the oh so “fierce” Christian Siriano won). I totally ran with it. My Mom, at my prompting, bought her a fashion design game, and I bought her a fashion illustration how-to book. Soon afterwards came the purchase of a sewing machine and few how-to-sew guides for her to wade through. All remained largely unused. Obviously, it was just a passing fancy. Not a problem. We all go through it. Now, while this indecision is not uncommon at her age, as I’ve assured her countless times, it really seems to be bugging her greatly right now. So far my advice to her has been to just relax.

I know my response surprised E, as I’m not exactly the sort to relax about anything. I’m sure she’s thinking that I’m just disregarding her feelings on the matter, and making light of it all, but really, I’m not. While I do tend to stress over things way too much, often crediting my tendency for worry as my main motivator in life (Well, that and guilt. Guilt is a tremendous motivator, but it’s not exactly a healthy route to take anywhere), that’s the last thing I want for my daughter. The truth is that once upon a time, I never used to understand people who just didn’t know what they wanted to do with their lives…yes, even if they were as young as 15. I was a stickler like that. Considering this, my laid back answer to “relax” was frankly out-of-character for me, and E called me out on it. Yes, it was out-of-character for “old me.” That would be the “Me” of last week, or in all truthfulness, the “Me” of a few years ago when I was still apt to attempt doing all things “by-the-book.” Old Me (i.e. the flashcard parent I once was) would have panicked, and suggested immediate career testing, or several books on the topic as a prompt for ideas. I wouldn’t have known another way to respond. My own experience was so different. I had practically declared a major at the age of eight, after briefly entertaining, and later abandoning, the thought of becoming a veterinarian and/or zoologist at age seven. Being diagnosed with allergies to pet dander laid waste to those pipe dreams, but I quickly bounced back and settled on the dream of becoming a writer.

So it was, that from the age of eight, I was certain that I’d go to college and study English. I eventually did. And while I may not be a published author, I do still get lots of enjoyment out of writing whenever I have the time. It certainly hasn’t turned out to be a very lucrative choice for me, but I never really cared for anything else. That said, I think that I probably cared for it as much as I did because I felt I had an aptitude for language arts. It’s like a “What came first—the chicken, or the egg?” scenario. Are we drawn to certain careers or choices of major because we have an aptitude for them, or because we are just interested in the subject? Does a natural inclination for something automatically lead to our becoming interested? I know that I was also interested in topics and activities for which I had little skill, but I never would have considered those as feasible career options. The aptitude connection seemed to be it for me. But I’m sure it varies with people. I’ve met people who have shown great talent in different areas, and not care one whit about any of them. That kind of effortless talent, despite lack of interest is mind-boggling to me. I figure that if I were just disposed to be good at something, I’d just do it contentedly. But of course, that’s just me speculating. Besides, I just can’t imagine being super great at anything I feel just lukewarm about. I’d imagine that I’d be using only a small fraction of my potential, which is an amazing thing to ponder. I mean, if someone manages to be super talented even while disinterested, just imagine what they would be able to accomplish if they were able to channel all of their interest and potential into their particular area of aptitude?

So yeah, I told my daughter to relax. This whole homeschool experiment has taught me many things, including a lot about just letting go, allowing things to progress organically, and just plain RELAXING. It’s also taught me that I can be good at a number of things for which I previously thought I had no aptitude. I had a severe math-phobia when I was in school. Now that I’ve had the opportunity to teach and re-teach myself, I’ve discovered that I love it. It’s still challenging, but not in a horrible, “I’ll never get this!” kind of way. I feel I’ve become more logical, and more methodical in my thinking. I find myself doing extra math for fun, just to exercise my brain. So obviously, what you’re good at or interested in at 15, is not necessarily what you will be good at or interested in at 18 and first embarking on your journey through college, or at 38 and juggling the demands of family and adulthood. If I had to decide on a major today, I’m not so sure I’d be able to make up my mind. My interests have grown exponentially over the years, and this allows me to better identify, for the first time ever, with the legion of “undecideds” out there.

I tried to impress upon my daughter that we are constant works in progress, with evolving interests, and that it is not uncommon for several of us to succumb to long periods of indecision at various points in time. Tiger mothers all around the world would recoil at the thought, I’m sure. And then I remembered a story about one of my college roommates. I told E the story in an effort to illustrate how she’s not the first, nor the last, to face this kind of uncertainty. I may as well retell it here.

One day as our then current semester was winding up to a close, one of my college roommates approached me with a conundrum. She was just one semester shy of completing her senior year, and she had still not declared a major. This was the stuff of nightmares for Old Me. I guess she was feeling pressure from her parents and her guidance counselor to “just decide already,” so she was desperate to just pick something willy nilly. She had jotted down a list of the courses she had already taken and passed, and asked me to help her make sense of it all. We both pored over the undergraduate course handbook, and after a few hours of deliberation, I looked over at her and said, “You’re an English major.”

“I’m a what?”

Yeah, it was like a “Harry, you’re a wizard…” moment, if ever there was one. We were both surprised. For starters, I would never have pegged her for an English major. I kept thinking that she would probably be better suited for something like public relations, or communications. But the list of courses before us told a different story. She seemed to continuously gravitate towards English courses. She had counted them all as electives, and while some were not purely English courses, they still fit somewhat under the big English umbrella. After some more discussion, we found that she just needed about three more English classes to fulfill her major obligation. It was a big “a-ha” moment for the both of us. I’m embarrassed to say that for me, what I learned that day sort of cheapened my opinion of the way that English as a major was regarded at our college. I mean, some of the classes that qualified as English were just general, broad humanities courses. It occurred to me that you could have taken just a handful of literature and/or writing courses and still have met the English major requirements. While this wasn’t the case with my roommate, who had indeed taken more than a few literature courses, I wondered how many students managed to earn a B.A. in English, with barely any literature or writing courses under their belts. Now, despite the happy ending, I can’t say for certain that this was the best choice for her. I don’t even know what she’s doing now, or how declaring English as a major helped or hindered her along the way. What I do know, however, is that her interests, unbeknownst to her at the time, were clear by the choices she made.

After listening to my roommate’s story, E was still perplexed, asking questions along the lines of, “How does this apply to me?” Apparently, my former roommate’s late college career indecision and eventual epiphany moment didn’t inspire much serenity in my daughter after all. I vainly tried to assuage the situation by telling her that the way I interpreted the whole experience, had me believing that sometimes, what we are most drawn to is not always so obvious. The significance of my roommate’s propensity for choosing English-related courses time and time again went unnoticed for years. I took this as proof positive that this could be the way it is with many other people as well. We just don’t always see the big picture, or how all of our interests and aptitudes can be linked to create the perfect assortment of skills necessary to become a great librarian, lawyer, bookkeeper, healthcare worker, filmmaker, educator, etc. So for now I’m just suggesting that E look more closely at what activities and topics she finds herself regularly seeking out. The answer may be there somewhere, but it’s also entirely possible that it’s not there yet. Beyond this, I seem to be currently tapped out of ideas. I may just find myself consulting a few career books on my own to prepare for when this becomes the topic du jour again. And if pressed, I may even urge her to take a general aptitude test that lists career niches to consider. But those wouldn’t be my first options. As a mother, it is inevitable for me to see what I believe are her strengths. E is a nurturer. She really is. Everyone who has been in her presence for any significant length of time can plainly see this about her. She is incredibly empathetic and has such a beautiful spirit. I could possibly suggest careers in healthcare or social work, but that would be a bit like leading the witness. There’s a fine line, I think, between tossing out general suggestions, and full on prodding. So I’ll tread lightly. I really do favor more of an organic unfolding for this sort of thing. But I’m not sweating it for once, and I hope E learns not to either.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

A Tisket, a Tasket, and an Enormous Transcript

I’m actually writing this post offline. We’ve had no Internet access since Sunday. The powers that be said something about our having a slow connection and an outdated modem. I swear it feels like a whole new dark age. I’ve determined that pre-Internet I had managed to be very constructive. I hadn’t really considered my prior output before. I was taking about 24 credits per college semester, and holding down two part time jobs, adding up to regular full-time hours. During this time, I also managed to make the Dean’s list and graduated a year before time. Now however, it almost feels, as my Mother so aptly puts it, that I’d as much as drown in a bucket full of water. I find that I overwhelm easily, and after no Internet for the past few days, I’m fairly convinced that the Internet, or rather, my propensity to surf the web for any reason, several times per day, is behind my general (as of late) lack of productivity. Not having Internet access therefore, has been a bit of boon. It has meant that I’ve begun to engage in more productive endeavors, some which I had been frankly dreading. One of these was starting to formally put together E’s high school transcript.

Of course, it would occur to me to put together my daughter’s transcript on a day when I wasn’t able to locate the transcript book I’ve kept on-hand for-like-ever. And as the Internet was down and I was unable to check transcript guidelines elsewhere, I resorted to the one small section on transcripts in The Well Trained Mind for some direction. Per TWTM, traditionally, 120 hours equals one credit, but this may vary by state or district. Not having access to our state’s or district’s guidelines at the time, the first thing I did was look over our records, and our previous schedule, to nail down the approximate time spent per subject. I made sure to keep track of time spent on independent work (for everything besides independent reading), as well as one-on-one tutorial-like times with me. What I ended up with looks something like this, based on a 36-week schedule (Note that Language Arts was the hairiest, and my projections for next year are hairier still):

Language Arts – 396 hours

This included time for spelling (2x/wk), writing (4x/wk), interdisciplinary writing (2 days/wk), grammar (2x/wk), rhetoric (2x/wk), and logic (2x/wk), and finally literature (2x/wk). Considering we were only able to fit five of the about eight books I wanted to have E read this year, I was thinking that more time should be dedicated to literature next year. And yet already, under the big language arts umbrella, we’ve managed to log in at least two classes’ worth of hours. And this doesn’t even include vocabulary, which we sort of dropped by the wayside.

Other subjects were pretty average in terms of time. E spent about 180 hours on Algebra I, and we still haven’t completed the book. I was thinking we could work on the remainder of the book this summer. I don’t recollect ever completing any of my texts in high school or college, and I do remember we did a lot of skimming and skipping around, yet I can’t get myself to do the same with E. She’s totally her mother’s daughter, as she’s shot down any ideas of skimming as well. So we’ll persevere a bit longer.

Science (Chemistry) came to about 144 hours, counting projected time for all labs, which we’re still in the process of completing.

History came to 108 hours, as did Latin.

I counted our time at Kung Fu, Tai chi, kickboxing, and weapons classes under Physical Education/Health. I added only the time for our regular classes, and not for any of the additional seminars and extra classes we take from time to time. Still, this all came to a whopping 216 hours.

We really dropped the ball on our elective classical language, i.e. Koine, having spent only about 36 hours on it all year long, with two brief sessions/wk, not nearly enough time to count for much credit at all.

In addition to the above, E took three homeschool art classes, about 2 hours each—again, not nearly enough to count for much credit.

She put in 42 hours volunteering as a CCD classroom aide, and then there was some time (not a significant number of hours at all), involved in a volunteer capacity at events and such at our Kung Fu school. I didn’t log in times for that, but I suppose I could have. She had scant involvement in our church’s youth group, so I didn’t add that in either.

This all came to, not including the art classes and volunteer work, approximately 1,188 hours for the entire year, including the 36 hours for Koine, which I’m considering just lumping in with Latin, under the “Classical Languages” header. This comes to approximately 6.6 hours/day, based on a 180-day schedule including the physical education, and 5.4 hours/day without the physical education hours added in. I thought that that was fairly standard. Oh, but I just realized now that I never considered the time she’s spent with her Dad on learning computer applications and typing. I’ll have to discuss times spent on those with him, but even so, I think that will only come up to enough hours to account for about a half credit in technology.
What left me a bit unsure was how to account for the extra hours logged in under language arts. The Well Trained Mind offers an example of what to do in such a case. The example is associated with the great books study recommended in the text. According to the example, 320 hours’ worth of study can translate into a full elective credit for literature, and one full credit for history (provided of course, you follow the guidelines in the book and your study involves historical documents and source readings). Go figure that the few books we “cut” due to lack of time, were the autobiographies that correlated to our history studies. But in our case, as we were covering U.S. History 1 anyway, it would have made more sense for those readings to be added onto the time spent separately on history. The individual parts to our language arts study, as mentioned above, were: spelling; writing; grammar; literature; rhetoric and logic. I figured that the most common sense way to sort these into groups was to lump spelling, grammar, and literature under the English 1 course title, and put writing, logic, and rhetoric into another group under the Speech 1 course title. The latter would count as an elective, and fit under “Speech” as rhetoric is classified in TWTM. It made sense to lump the logic and writing together along with the rhetoric, and I’m relieved to have that settled.

I’m still nowhere near done with this. I still have to check my state and district guidelines, find that dang transcript book (I swear I saw it just a few days ago, but where could it be now? It’s anyone’s guess.), and figure out how to put it all together and make it look as official as possible. In addition to preparing the transcript, I’ll be gathering materials for a portfolio of representative work. I’d like for it to include a cross-section of examples ranging from typical assignments, to quizzes, tests, lab and project photos, as well as reports and response papers.

If anyone is out there and has had experience with writing transcripts, I’m all ears, and open to some been-there-done-that advice!

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Wish I Had a TARDIS to Transport Me Back

I'm feeling BIG feelings today. Just before this I visited a homeschooling board, and noticed a post by someone who was just starting out on her family's homeschooling journey. I was immediately reminded of a friend of mine who is only a few years in, and how everything is still so fresh and new and exciting for her. It has all made me think back on our days, once filled with learning letters, spelling words, playing math games, making crafts, playing dress-up, and cuddling on couches with storybooks. I remember their little voices begging me to re-read Tikki Tikki Tembo for the third time in a row. I'd feign a bit of reluctance, just to make my eventual succumbing under pressure all the more exciting for them. "Score! Mom caved!"

I remember when my three were just learning how to read, and how fun it was to see them getting all excited about everything. I know I'm choosing to remember only the good stuff right now, as I've previously written about some of our early reading struggles. But still, it was a simpler time. One I didn't fully appreciate as much at the time. I'd give anything to have a bit of that sweet simplicity back in my life.

And yet I really do love where we are right now. I remember feeling that I wasn't all that well-suited for "teaching" in the early years. I wasn't particularly crafty, and I felt that that worked against me at the time. I struggled to add in a bit of creativity of my own, when I felt I was better equipped at presenting a lecture instead. I'd find myself digressing a lot, going off on tangents on topics that were way over their heads. I remember how much I looked forward to their getting older so that we could finally get to discuss things thoroughly--serious, deeply meaningful things. And then before I knew it, that time came. They were old enough, and we started discussing to our hearts' content. And while it's been wonderful, now I'm finding myself getting all nostalgic. Funny how that happens.

I wonder if I can get the kids interested in making a macaroni necklace today. Or perhaps some finger painting? It's worth a shot.

Friday, June 24, 2011

A Light at the End of the Tunnel? Quite Possibly.

This is for anyone who has been following my asthma story, now turned saga. If you don't know the goings-on, feel free to look to the right and click on the "Health" tag for the beginning of the story.

In my last post, I left off with a blurb about my looking into natural antibiotics. My intent in doing so however, was not sufficiently clear. I still fully intended to try Dr. Hahn's recommended treatment protocol, but after my experience with the Biaxin, I just wanted to give my body some time to detox a bit first. I was experiencing nasty side effects for several days after quitting the Biaxin, and in addition to that, my chest congestion and constriction came back, and was even worse than before. I expected that this was going to happen, but I figured that I would just try to stave off anything worse by taking some natural antibiotics in the interim.

Despite being somewhat informed as to natural health, and striving to live a healthy life, natural supplementation, and particularly which supplement was good for what ailment, always alluded me. I figured I'd ask people who were more informed on that topic, and I got some really good suggestions from this very kind couple I met through Twitter. I took what they and others said, and did a little of everything. I took colloidal silver for a period of about 10 days, high dosed vitamin C (about 10,000mg/day), and added turmeric and garlic to everything. I also cut out sugar and dairy, which I had been having in small amounts in my coffee, which I also quit. I had already cut out gluten, although I had had a few slip-ups prior to this period. I greeted every morning with a mega dose of vitamin C and yerba mate. I had already been taking probiotics due to being on the antibiotics, so I continued that, and I had some kombucha every few days. I did this for almost two weeks. I noticed that after I took the colloidal silver, I would have a short period of productive coughing followed by a period of some relief of my symptoms. But the periods were brief. I had to keep to the air conditioning at all times. It didn't help that the weather was just awful--at times hot and muggy, and at times cold and damp. Nevertheless, I kept up with these natural antibiotics, and I believe they kept me from getting too much worse. Nevertheless, I was having asthmatic episodes daily. They weren't like isolated attacks, but just large periods of wheezing and chest constriction. Talking was difficult, so I just stayed silent. I was uncomfortable as well, so it's not like I could even concentrate on doing anything like reading. I did my best at silently directing the kids to keep up with some of their independent work while I was essentially confined to the air conditioned areas. After a week and a half of this, I decided that I had had about enough. I wanted my life back. I figured it was time to try another doctor.

My husband called to make the appointment. As mentioned, I couldn't even speak. I was so hoarse at that point, and sleep deprived, that I probably wouldn't have made much sense anyway. We got all of the relevant information together, and stuck it all in a manila folder. I was to be the first patient of the day. I had seen this doctor before, and I wasn't sure what to make of him. I knew him to be especially chatty, unlike many of the other doctors I had seen in my life, but I figured that this was a good thing. He had another physician do the preliminary "interview" for him, and I was pleasantly surprised that this man seemed to be well aware of the effects of diet and nutrition on overall health. Most doctors, in my experience, play down this connection, as nonsensical as that may sound. One of the first things he told me was that I should eliminate gluten and dairy from my diet. He was pleased when I told him that I had already done so. He then proceeded to urge me to high dose vitamin C. Check. I was doing that, too. He also told me that it appeared that my adrenals were spent, and that I would need to take something to help with this. This, by the way, was something else my knowledgeable Twitter friends suggested. During this part of the appointment, I mentioned Dr. Hahn and his research on antibiotics and asthma, but he wasn't very receptive. At first I think he assumed that I was bringing up some unsubstantiated internet claims. Well, there was that and the fact that he generally seemed to be into pursuing more natural options to supplement my traditional prescription corticosteroids. I explained that while I understood the risks of long-term antibiotic use, that I was considering the big picture--i.e. a few months of regulated antibiotic use as opposed to a lifetime of steroids to treat my asthma. Now, to be fair to those who counseled me to eschew all forms of standard pharmacological options in favor of healing via diet and lifestyle, I freely admit that perhaps I didn't give the non-standard dietary course of treatment enough time to take. But frankly, I was miserable, and my family was suffering the consequences of having a mother and wife that was unable to function at the capacity required of her.

After that patient interview, I was ushered in to the next examining room where I would see my doctor. I overheard the first physician speaking with my doctor, and heard mention of a few words in fleeting--something about the internet, and a cure for asthma. I immediately figured that my first assumption was correct, and that they thought I had fallen for some unsubstantiated internet claim of a cure for asthma. A few seconds later, the doctor entered the room and proceeded to tell me that there was no cure for asthma. Gutted again. Then he went on to tell me for over an hour (yes, this is no exaggeration...I was in there for a very long time), that all I could do was move to Arizona. He assured me that the drier climate would be as close to a cure as I could hope for. I am not the sort to break down into tears in front of strangers, but I almost did just that. My husband had been with me in the examining room for the interview part of the visit, but had to leave abruptly when he got a call from his dad, asking him to come right away and pick up our kids. An emergency came up, and he had to take my mother-in-law to the hospital (she's much better now, by the way) and would be unable to watch the children after all. When my husband ran out, as he had to of course, I felt I was missing my advocate. Thankfully, he was back long before I was done, and helped me find my voice again. As mentioned, I was in there for a long time--just over two hours I'd say. After finally getting the opportunity to plead my case, the doctor actually agreed that I might be a good candidate for the treatment. I nearly died of shock when he started writing the prescriptions. Because I was in such bad shape when I came in, he suggested I take a Z-pack first, then follow that with a 3-day burst of 1800mg of azithromycin. That would come to a total of eight days of daily antibiotics. Once that course was followed, I was to graduate to the once per week dose of 600mg.

It was suggested that in addition to high dosing vitamin C, that I needed to increase my intake of probiotics, start taking SAM-E 400mg for liver support, take green tea extract to ward off any yeast infections, and take Adrenotone to enhance my adrenal function. I have taken all of these daily, as well as following a healthy diet free of dairy and gluten. Once upon a time, I followed a vegan diet and felt the best I had ever felt when on it, and I have since considered going strict vegan again, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm not completely discounting this as a possibility in the near future however, especially as I think that particular diet would only enhance what I'm already doing to cure myself.

My results so far? Normally when taking antibiotics, I get immediate relief. This time it took a bit longer. I had completed the first eight days' worth of doses before feeling a significant difference. I am now currently at the one dose per week part of the regimen. Today I will take my second weekly dose, and so far so good. I was able to return to my kung fu classes last week, and I'm feeling stronger with every passing day. There have been a few rough patches here and there, but nothing like what I was experiencing before. I'm planning on staying the course, and I'm not letting those little rough patches deter me. I've read that in some cases, the full benefits of this treatment can take up to a year or so to become apparent, so I've got a long way to go. I expect to be taking these pills until some time in September. I'm hopeful that this will work for me. It's a glass half-full kind of day.

NOTE:

See Here and Here for the beginning of the story. I hope to get another post up on this soon!

Thursday, June 23, 2011

The Catalog's Here!

The one good thing about being completely backed up and disorganized this year, particularly with regard to the actual purchasing of stuff for next year's homeschooling, is that for the first time ever, the new Rainbow Resource catalog arrived before I'd gotten around to placing my order!


Isn't it lovely, in all of its nearly 1,400-paged glory?

But I'm being good about sticking closely to my original list of resources and supplies, despite, as Rudyard Kipling would have it, my "'satiable curtiosity."

The trouble with being, at heart, an eclectic homeschooler (albeit with a decidedly classical bent), is not that I see value in so many methods and resources, but that I always wish I could employ them all. Some weeks, we're literature heavy, other weeks we're more hands-on and crafty. Ah, to be able to do it all at tandem.

In an effort to illustrate how easily I could be manipulated into wanting the latest and greatest thing on the market, I had been thinking rather seriously of using MCT language arts with my younger two this year, but I ultimately decided against it. I was mature enough to realize that the only reason I had been seduced into considering it at all was because of all of the wonderful things people were saying about it. I've no doubt that it's a wonderful program, but really, the eclectic mix that we have been using all along for language arts has been working well for us, so switching wouldn't really make much sense, regardless of how wonderful MCT seems to be. I think that by now, I have effectively exorcised myself out of that mindset. Besides, I've been homeschooling long enough to realize that there's always a bigger, better program on the horizon. Tangentially related, I visited the Well Trained Mind boards again not too long ago, after having been away for a while, and experienced a bit of acronym shock. Once upon a time, I just knew that "TWTM" = The Well Trained Mind, that "LCC" = Latin Centered Curriculum, and that "ETC" stood for Explode the Code. I used to be "in the know." But when I got there, I found a whole new set of acronyms to wade through. It took a while to figure out what was meant by RSO, CLE, and HOD. What?!?!? After some digging, I learned that these are Real Science Odyssey (Secular), Christian Light Education, and Heart of Dakota (Christian), respectively. All received glowing reviews. To be clear, I at no time considered any of these. Frankly, I've got enough options to wade through.

And just because I mentioned which of the aforementioned programs was secular, and which were not, I wanted to add that as a not-so-consistent rule, I do often tend to avoid a lot of Christian curricula, regardless of denomination. The "not-so-consistent" part comes in when it comes to grammar. I love Rod & Staff Grammar, a Mennonite program, and use books three through five. At those levels, the sample sentences are kind of generic Christian, and I don't mind that. At those levels, there's no particular doctrinal bias that I can see. I've read that this changes in the later levels, so I don't use those. To me it's just the best grammar program I've ever seen, and I love the teacher's guide layout. I wish all teacher's guides were as well put together. My teen is using Seton's Grammar 9 (Catholic) now as well, and really likes it, and the doctrinal bias in that case, is not a problem for us as we're Catholic. That said, it's not my favorite, but it gets the job done. When it comes to other subjects and materials written from a sectarian point of view, I find that often the religious content (yes, regardless of denomination) often seems tacked on and really reaches to fit the spirituality into the lesson. The way I see it, if the connections made make sense and are organic to the lesson, it should be seamless, and it seldom is.

Off to peruse the catalog a bit longer. Just in case.

Friday, May 27, 2011

And So it Continues...

This is meant to be an update to my last post on asthma. At the close of that post, I stated that I was feeling a noticeable, positive difference after the first two doses of the antibiotic. I was. What I neglected to mention, was that the doctor, for some reason, didn't prescribe the antibiotic I was accustomed to taking--i.e., the Zithromycin. Instead, I suppose because she wanted me to receive a greater blast, she instead prescribed the generic form of Biaxin, called Clarithromycin. I was to take two 500MG pills per day, twelve hours apart, for ten consecutive days. So really, this wasn't the protocol that Dr. Hahn (the Wisconsin doctor involved in the asthma research mentioned in my last post) recommends. She assured me that it was chemically in the same family of drugs as the Zithromycin, so I just agreed to it. Now in hindsight, I wish I hadn't.

By the third dose, I was dizzy, nauseous, had awful stomach pain, a horrible metallic taste in my mouth, was completely exhausted, starting to feel phantom pains all over my body, got headaches, dry cotton mouth, and was starting to hallucinate. And I thought that that was the worst of it! By the other morning (heck, I can't even remember what morning it was, as I'm so confused still), my tongue and lips had begun to swell. Being the Mom of a child with allergies, I recognized that as one of the possibly not-so-minute reactions. I know that you're not supposed to stop antibiotics mid-course, so I called the clinic to ask if I could drop the medication. I was told to come in, and that this was something the doctor would have to okay. Thankfully, my husband was able to get out of work early and take me there within a few hours. The Doctor didn't seem at all concerned...at least not at first, and seemed more aggravated than anything else. I hate feeling like I'm disturbing people. It may have been his lunch time, I don't know. But still, I wished I was just anywhere else but there. I made sure to tell him that I would have been totally okay with not coming in and just stopping the medication. He seemed to relax and get a bit kinder as the visit progressed, so I tried not to get all upset over it.

He noticed the swelling, but assured me that there were no obstructions. I frankly hadn't been having a problem breathing at all really, since the 2nd dose. It was just all of the other stuff. I have three children to care for, and I've been a complete wreck for days because of this antibiotic. (Note: I found out later that this was one of the medications Brittany Murphy had been taking prior to her death. Yikes!) Immediately, he dismissed that I was feeling any of the above, except for maybe the stomach stuff, because of the antibiotic. It's always nice when doctors listen to your concerns, and believe you when you tell them things. Sigh. That said, when he left the room, and came back a few minutes later, he was more relaxed and communicative. He had a listen to my stomach, and it must have been making a terrible racket, because he immediately agreed to have me stop the medication. That was the only thing I wanted to hear.

Next he checked my sugar. He mentioned something about possibly triggering a pre-diabetic response?!?!? And then he took some blood. Thankfully, before too long, we were on our way out. The swelling on my tongue seemed to have gone down. As we were making our way out of the building, he handed me my replacement antibiotics--a seven day dose of Levaquin, 500MG. I smiled and thanked him, not sure if I'd be able to stomach another antibiotic after all I had gone through.

When I finally got home, I read the FDA warning about Levaquin , and that made my decision on whether or not to take the antibiotic all the simpler. I love Kung Fu, and I just couldn't see myself taking a chance on something like tendonitis, particularly when this wasn't the antibiotic protocol I had wanted from the get-go. I had never had a reaction to any medication before, but I'll tell you, once you experience it, you start really identifying with that 1% of people who do react. Percentages almost seem not to matter.

As expected of course, not having completed my course of antibiotics, I'm getting the chest congestion again. Today has been kind of rough, and I'm keeping to the air conditioning. I'm still considering my options. Right now, and for the time being, I'm looking into natural antibiotics to get me through this hiccup. I hope to update again with something more positive.

NOTE:

Click Here for the beginning of the story, and Here for the post that follows this one.

Monday, May 23, 2011

For Those of You Struggling with Asthma

It's been a long time since I last posted, but I wanted to share something I recently learned in the hope that it will help someone else.

I've had a long history with asthma, first diagnosed when I was a toddler and still living in Florida. When we moved north, I was asymptomatic for years. Practically cured we thought. It wasn't until about age eleven, that the dreaded asthma word started to come up again, this time in relation to allergies I had just spontaneously developed. Looking back, I don't think it was really asthma, just allergies--mostly to animal dander, pollens, weeds, and molds. I was put on asthma medication as a preventative measure, but really, I think allergy medication would have worked all on its own.

Asthma wasn't an issue for me, that is until just a few years ago. My son was about four or five at the time. I remember that I had gotten a cold, and that that cold had turned into bronchitis. Not being the sort to run off to the doctor for things I think I can ride out at home, I waited. I waited a long time, but I never got better. After a few weeks of this, I finally succumbed, and went to the doctor. I was diagnosed with bronchitis, and sent home. After the antibiotic treatment, I felt better. But ever since that episode, I found that I was getting sick at the drop of a hat. After several relapses I was re-diagnosed with asthma--specifically asthmatic bronchitis. For a while there, as I switched doctors from time to time, always searching for someone who could help me, I received conflicting diagnoses. One doctor told me that I couldn't possibly have asthma because I had a productive cough. His diagnosis? Anxiety. He came to this conclusion when I didn't improve after treatment.

Again, I found myself getting "bronchitis" or something like it, several times per year. I was re-re-diagnosed with asthma, and every time I was symptomatic, my pulmonologist would prescribe the same medication--Azithromycin (Z-pack) and Prednisone. Every time, I felt an immediate relief of my symptoms. I assumed it was the Prednisone.

This past March, I got sick again, and delayed going to the doctor. When I woke up on a Saturday morning, about 10 days after I had first gotten sick, I was coughing up blood, and figured I'd better get seen. My doctor didn't have hours on Saturdays, so I went to one of those Urgent Care clinics. Again, I was diagnosed with bronchitis, which I was told had exacerbated my asthma. I also had an eye and throat infection. Yep, I was a mess because I waited too long to seek treatment. Again, I was given prescriptions for a Z-pack and Prednisone, as well as a few other medications for the coughing and eye infection.

On May 13th, just a little over a week ago, I got sick yet again. By Monday, I decided that it was starting to get out of control. I liked the Urgent Care clinic so much, that I decided to go back there again. I saw a different doctor. She told me that I didn't have bronchitis. I thought I did, as that's what I'm always diagnosed with whenever I go (sometimes up to 6 times per year). She said I was having an asthma exacerbation...i.e., an asthma attack. She checked my peak flow, gave me a nebulizer treatment, and I improved slightly, but not enough. Next I got a steroid shot, and left there with a 15 day prescription for Prednisone, and a prescription for Singulair (which I had taken before, without much improvement). I was to take these in addition to my Advair and Ventolin rescue (which I had been using up to 4x/day). The doctor felt that I didn't need antibiotics this time, as technically, it wasn't an infection, just an asthma flare-up.

I didn't notice any improvement after a few days. As a matter of fact, by day six of my course of Prednisone, I was still finding it difficult to draw breath, and the coughing fits kept me awake all night. It struck me that I wasn't improving. The only difference between this last visit to the the doctor and all of my previous visits, was that I had always been prescribed antibiotics along with the Prednisone. I was curious, so I Googled for info on the treatment of asthma with antibiotics, and I found this very informative website. The research page at the site has tons of links from reputable sources finding that there is a bacterial link to many cases of asthma, and that it can be "cured" with an extended course of antibiotics. Considering how quickly I improve with the antibiotics, it made sense to me. I made up my mind to find a doctor who would be receptive to this information.

On Saturday, I spent the day at my Mom's apartment. I still wasn't feeling well, and didn't want to be alone--my husband and the kids were out all day for kung fu and errands. I was still only on the Prednisone and Singulair, in addition to my other asthma medications. I had a very difficult time at my mother's. After my third nebulizer treatment, I was flushed, and I felt like I had tied tourniquets on both of my upper arms. The pressure on my arms was awful, and my veins looked as if they were bulging. I had a lot of pain in my chest. I refused to go to the ER, but I probably should have. Yesterday morning I woke up, coughing up blood again. I went back to the clinic as it was Sunday, and the only place other than the ER that was open. My peak flow was again, not so great. I had another nebulizer treatment, and the doctor wanted to give me another steroid shot. I refused the shot, considering that I was still taking the prednisone (on day 6 of 15). I told her about the research, and she seemed receptive. But she wanted to prescribe a preliminary dose of antibiotics anyway, as she figured that I was putting too much strain on my heart.

Now here I am today. I've had only two doses of the antibiotic (500 mg each), and I'm feeling a noticeable difference. I'm confident that if I follow the extended antibiotic protocol, I may even be cured of asthma. Seriously. I'm feeling very hopeful. When I weigh out the pros and cons of trying the antibiotic treatment (one weekly dose for between 9-15 or more weeks) as opposed to indefinitely using a ton of steroidal drugs to treat my asthma, the choice is clear.

In any case, I just wanted to share this information with all of you. I wish all of you who struggle with this to be well. If you respond to antibiotics during asthma flare-ups, this could help you.

Here are a few other links (in addition to http://www.asthmastory.com hyperlinked above):


Information For Interested Physicians – Dr. David L. Hahn – http://www.asthmastory.com/research/asthmamdinfov13.pdf

Model Demonstrates Infections Cause of Asthma – ScienceDaily May 25, 2010 http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases...0524161240.htm

Asthma Linked to Chronic Chlamydia - http://www.drkaslow.com/html/asthma-_an_infection_.html

Infectious Asthma Research – Dr. David L. Hahn - http://www.dean.org/Foundation/resea...-research.aspx

Asthma Trial in Community Settings - http://clinicaltrials.gov/show/NCT00266851%20

Treatment of Chlamydia Pneumoniae Infection in Adult Asthma: A Before-After Trial - http://clinicaltrials.gov/show/NCT00266851%20
Additional Research w/ Several Links: http://asthmastory.com/theresearch/

UPDATES:

Follow-up posts. (It's been a long journey.) - Here and Here. More to come shortly.