1. Let them get to you, allowing them to wield psychological power over you to the point that they are all you can think about or talk about (um, or write about).
2. Allow your experiences with said difficult person to lead you into making broad generalizations regarding their culture or creed (or gene pool).
3. Refer to difficult people as Satan spawn or Nazis.
4. Rehash every negative experience had with said difficult person and conclude that they are in fact the antichrist.
5. Psychoanalyze their motives until you succeed at making your head explode, as you come to the realization that they are actually not even fully human, but 90% cybernetic, and therefore incapable of human emotion.
6. Spend inordinate amounts of time plotting revenge, involving the staging of an alien encounter just to freak said difficult person out (unless they are cyborgs—see number 5 above, in which case you're plum outta luck 'cause they are probably fearless).
7. Continue to put time and attention into the gifts you give said person (applicable only for difficult people to which you're related, through marriage or otherwise, because really, what other reason would induce you to give such an ornery person a gift in the first place)...gifts and thoughts that are seldom appreciated, and quite often vociferously criticized.
8. Continue to fruitlessly look for common ground in an effort to win said difficult person over, thinking naively that you're Pollyanna-esque and quite possibly the only person on earth able to tame them with your goodness and sincerity, only to find out later that your every effort is summarily shot down.
9. Engage said difficult person in conversation, in an effort to take the higher road, whilst feigning interest in all of said difficult person's favorite activities (e.g. being evil). This seldom has the intended effect.
10. Subject your children to said difficult person and call it diversity training.
11. Snort loudly, or stand in bewildered silence when a mutual acquaintance inquires about said person, especially when the acquaintance only knows the difficult person's good side and their inquiry and subsequent comments come off even a slight bit adulatory.
12. And related to number 11... Give in to temptation and tell sincere inquirer person all that you know about how said difficult person hates puppies and all else that is good in the world. That'll show 'em.
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