Thursday, February 23, 2012

Day Two of Lent and Not Up to Scratch? Add Something In!

Every year I have all of these great ideas on all of the changes I need to make in order to have a spiritually edifying Lenten experience. This in and of itself is not a problem. The problem is that I want to go whole hog, and end up overwhelming myself with self-prescribed regulations, much like I do on most years when coming up with a laundry list of New Year’s resolutions. It’s like setting myself up for failure, demanding not just one thing of myself, but several, as if I can go from being undisciplined to being an ascetic in forty days' time. And please note here that I’m not really talking about “giving stuff up for Lent.” In reality, that sort of stuff doesn’t work as well for me. Giving stuff up, like actual "stuff," is easy. I have incredible will power when it comes to this sort of thing, and after a while, avoiding specific things becomes less and less difficult and just becomes the new normal (like the time I gave up sugar in my tea, and then midway through Lent didn’t even mind as I couldn’t stand the thought of sweetened tea ever again). It’s the “adding stuff in” that I find most difficult, and therefore more worthy of my time, from a spiritual standpoint. And as to my criteria, the kind of stuff I’d be adding in, in my opinion, shouldn’t be dually purposed, because the ulterior purpose can eventually take precedent over the other spiritual one, until it becomes the greater of the two. For example, I can determine that I want to add in more exercise in acknowledgement that my body is a temple of God, and feel that I’ve addressed my spiritual criteria in settling with that change in behavior. Yet somewhere in my psyche, there will be the niggling feeling that an ulterior purpose (i.e. losing weight, feeling more attractive/giving in to vanity, etc.) would eventually become par with or even surpass the spiritual reasons I previously had in settling with the change in the first place. Honestly, the truth is that I should be exercising more anyway, and not use Lent as an excuse to do so. Of course, one can argue that there are many other benefits to exercising that are not those parenthetically noted, and as Catholics, we should strive to keep our bodies fit, healthy, and strong, but I struggle with those being my real reasons. Often I just want to look good in my jeans. Yeah, vanity. I guess it comes down to knowing yourself, and I have myself pretty much pegged.

And so I tend to struggle with determining what to do differently every year during Lent. I’m sure I can be rightly accused of over-thinking this, but what else is new? It would be out of character for me to not over-think. But what if you’re married to the idea of giving something up, rather than adding something in? If so, here are some pretty neat suggestions. The list is geared toward teens, but seeing as I still feel like a fourteen year old on most days, I still think several of them apply to even a thirty-something like me. Besides, I found several of the ideas unique. Never thought of giving up my pillow!

Ultimately, I’m still firmly in the “add stuff in” camp, because if there’s something that I really value, it’s my time. The more I add in, particularly the addition of time spent serving others (in this case, even my own family qualifies), the less time I have to enjoy other more selfish pursuits. In consideration of this, I’ll be adding stuff in as I go along, whatever those things may be and as situations arise, making sure that I remain consistent. And what better way of keeping track of every time I give up my time (you see, "adding in" can mean "giving up" as well, but it sounds more positive...to me anyway!) than to use St. Therese's sacrifice beads? Just move a bead over every time you sacrifice a bit of your time.

With that said, I have to add in some more school time with the kids, even if I’m technically still on my lunch break.

Wishing you all a very blessed Lenten season!

No comments:

Post a Comment